Quick trip to the mall 9 days before Christmas,

I got ready to go do a few last minute errands today. No appetite yet but feeling much better after about 24 hours of stomach bug. Grabbed a diet pepsi on the way out the door. Got inside the mall and ran into my Aunt Betty and cousin Brenda. So happy to see them and can't believe how much Aunt Betty reminds me of Grammy. Head on down to the hallmark store, and start feeling really weird, heart just pounding like crazy. Tried to read a few cards to calm down. Didn't really work so I went to get a drink from the water fountain. (I never drink out of a public water fountain but was desperate!) Went into bath and body works but all those different scents didn't really help the way I was feeling. (Can't believe the sign said $35 to get a picture on santa's lap). Decide its time to go get something to eat and maybe I will feel better. But before I leave the mall I run into the minister's wife. Talked to her for a minute, but she probably wondered what was wrong with me I hope I didn't look or act as bad as I felt! Didn't get anything accomplished at the mall. Went to get a quick sandwich then on to get my hair trimmed up. Then walking out to my car get really winded and heart pounding again. Got myself home and back into my sweats and taking it easy the rest of the night.

Christmas is coming soon.

I am just realizing today that if I am going to put up a tree I need to do it really soon! Most of the christmas shopping is done. Got in on a few really good deals online. Its the same old thing every year when you just feel like you will never get enough for everyone. But it never really matters once the day is here and everything is ripped open. Then you realize again that what matters the most is being together with family once again.
I always like the song by Vince Gill: When the season comes 'round again... Lets all try and smile for the picture,and we'll hold it as long as we can,May it carry us through should we ever get lonely till the season comes 'round again.
This Christmas I can't help feeling a little down in the dumps. But I know I am so blessed with my grandson Elias and Curt's little grandkids too.
I will be taking the CNA course in terre haute starting in january. Excited and scared. Probably be one of the oldest in the class. I truly fear classes and tests! But this is something I know a little bit about so maybe won't be so bad. It is a 3 week class then you take the state test. After the 2nd week of class you can start working as a CNA. I have talked to one nursing home already and will apply at other places too.
For now I will just be here dreaming of a white christmas and getting things done on my list.

Clean windows, sunny days, crazy dog

I took advantage of this beautiful afternoon and cleaned all the windows and doors outside. We are so lucky to have weather in the 60's and sunny in November! Tied Phoenix outside so he could play around while I was up and down on the step ladder. As soon as I was around the side of the house and out of his sight he had a fit.
He is so attached to us now. I try to take him with me when I can. I guess that has him spoiled. He just can't stand it to be left alone for a few hours. He won't touch his food we leave him or chew bones. He just stresses out the whole time we are gone. We have left the radio on for him and a light. It just doesn't matter. That is my only complaint about the dog. He is very well house trained thank goodness! He also keeps me warm sitting next to me in the recliner on a cold evening.
We have a new addition to the family. My niece Beth has her fourth child. Christopher was born November 6. Can't wait to meet him and I hear he also has red hair.
My neighbor Sue took pictures of Eli this week. He was sitting in a highchair that belonged to her grandfather. The high chair is 118 years old. Can't wait to see how they turned out.
Brandon is here this weekend. We had pancakes for breakfast and spaghetti for lunch. He has a great appetite so I like to have his favorites for him!
For some reason today I have tons of energy. I think I am going to go rearrange the bedroom.

Elias, immunizations, and more

I got to Eddie and Miranda's about 8 their time yesterday. She was getting his cereal and fruit ready so of course I got to feed him. He is such a happy little guy and LOVES his baby food.

It is very moving to see my daughter being a mommy now. She did something I never thought of. She put 2 different spoons in his dish. One for cereal and one for fruit. Nothing wrong with that. Just something I never did. She is such a good mommy. Today as I rocked him to sleep and sang/hummed to him. I stopped when his eyes were closed and he was humming sort of in his sleep. Then he said mommmmm mommmm and was out. I figure he was thinking of her and missing her right then but was just too sleepy.

Eli, Lucy, Miranda, and Amy Jo, Miranda's friend, and I met at a restaurant for lunch. Eli was the center of attention when we walked in. Then another of Miranda's friends who is a waitress there took off to carry him around while we finished eating. Lucy and I went to walmart to kill some time until Eli's appointment. He notices everything even some pinatas hanging from the ceiling in the Halloween aisle. I wouldn't even have seen them if it wasn't for him looking up.

At the health department he got 3 different vaccinations and we had him laughing a few minutes later. Then he had a horrible diaper in the examining room. We laughed to see the rod blogajevich car trash bags were being using for disposal of the diapers. Oh then we had to take it with us since the nurse said they don't have bio hazard disposal in the facility. Yeah right in a health department. Oh well supposed the place would get smelly if each baby made a little deposit all day long.

Fall is my favorite season.

The weather is still warm most days and has a sharp chill in the evening. Leaves on the trees are beautiful oranges,yellows,and Burgundies,with a tinge of green here and there.
Sweaters instead of tank tops.Shoes and socks instead of flip flops.Jeans instead of having to shave your legs everyday!
Some anticipation of what is to come this winter. Watching a black woolly worm cross the road.
It still is like a blur when I think of my Uncle Mikey. He was with us for 14 months. He was living with me when I turned 44 and also when I turned 45. He had one Christmas with Me and Curt. It was his only Christmas without his Mom(my Grammy). I know it is all irrelevant. But still things I think about and sometimes dwell on. How I am sure I could have done a better job with him. Guilt sometimes. Then I have to make myself stop it! I tried doing my best. But it was always on my mind that I just wasn't quite good enough for the job. I know he is home now. He never did understand how this could be "home" when his mom and his dad were not living. He told me that, often. I would tell him that someday he would pass away and go to heaven and he would be able to see them again. I would say remember that is what we learn in church. It seemed to help a little. One day numerous times he mentioned Grammy and I got a little tired of hearing it and said, why are you talking about your mom so much today. You remember she passed away. And he just said "I am just missing her today" and wiped a few tears from his eyes.
I think more and more these days how I have been blessed. I still have my Mom living. My sisters.My husband who loves me so much. My daughters(my whole life) and baby Elias. As well as Curt's family, and kids, and grand kids! Also my dear Aunts,Uncles,cousins,nieces and nephews. I was even lucky enough to know my grandparents and one great grandmother in my life! Some aren't that fortunate.
Something about fall is so final. The last days of warm weather. Will we see spring again next year? Will we get to see green leaves and spring flowers blooming? Only the good Lord knows that answer for all of us. So we must live our lives right. We will see our family who have gone before us someday. There will be a day with no more pain,tears,or fear.